Dating LA

So it was with my recent cynical dating/relationship attitude that I went on another Crazy Blind Date tonight. I had forgotten that I signed up for one and I didn't want to cancel it. I think those CBD people keep a running score of how many times you cancel (twice for me) and then set you up with not so great guys as punishment.

That's not to say my date tonight was bad. He was just fine. We talked about geeky stuff, stuff that on first meeting me you would probably never realize I was into.

Yes, I'm a fan of Batman, okay?

But my cynicism underlined our playful conversation. My date said he respected honesty, so I asked him.

Do guys believe in The One? Or do they approach marriage as just another milestone to accomplish at a certain age and whoever's around will be that One?

His response:

Sure, we believe in The One. I definitely wouldn't settle. I don't think settling is a matter of the guy. I think it's an individual preference.

I guess there are some good guys left.

I give up, I tell you. I. GIve. Up.

This whole dating thing has left me more cynical about relationships. It's like I've been on a diet for a year and have not seen any results.

Where are my dating results?

I just keep adding to my numbers of not-quite-right men and being rejected by the one(s) I do like. It's just not going to happen for me. I have to embrace this and be okay with this. I'm just not meant to be in a relationship.

I am destined to be on my own.

And I have to take responsibility for this. I want a relationship, however I don't want it enough to just settle (down) for anything. Otherwise, I'd probably be with the Irishman now or even FWC. If only I could just set my standards lower. Just compromise my gut feeling, my instinct, my "no" alarm and take anyone that came my. Then, only then, will I be in a relationship.

But since I can't shut out instincts, since I have to feel those butterflies in my stomach, I think I will always be single. It seems impossible, right now, that I will ever meet a guy that will make me float on air. 

Had a second date with J120408. We went to the movies. How very "second date".

I was a bit peeved by him though because we planned to see this weekend's blockbuster and he asked me to arrive an hour early, just in case of lines. I got there, but he was running late. How very LA. I couldn't wait inside the theater to save seats because he bought the tickets online. He didn't show up until 10 minutes before show time and there were no seats left, so we exchanged the tickets for a later showing.

Blah blah blah.

Being late because of traffic is just a fact of life in LA, but if I can make it to our date on time, so can you. It was just a rocky start to the date, not alleviated by his nervous personality. I wanted to suggest he take a public speaking course, but I'm trying not to be an uber bitch this year.

The only bright side to the day was that the movie rocked.

Something's in the air. I keep reading posts in my Vox 'hood and I'm not the only one in a dating funk. When is this feeling (or lack of feeling) going to pass?

So, I told the Irishman that I only feel platonic towards him. I asked him about what he meant on his blog and he said he wasn't sure if I was expecting him to kiss me or not.

The only thing I feel bad about is that our entire conversation was over text messages. I tried to call him, but he wouldn't answer his phone. For some reason he just loves communicating through SMS.

And that's that. No dates lined up. I'm in a dating funk anyway.

Women in LA confuse me somewhat.

I just read this from the Irishman's blog.

Women in LA confuse me somewhat.

If I have to decide then my verdict is no.

It's over.

Had a third date with the Irishman. We went to a nice place for dinner. I picked. In fact I've picked all of our date locations. He's new to the States and I also think he's trying to be a gentleman.

And yes, he is a gentleman. He always pays, always opens the door. He has nice manners. Sometimes his real Irish comes out in spurts about stupid things we do in America like over salt our fries and a bitch about a pen not working. Yeah, there's really nothing to complain about him.

But...

By the third date you should know right? You should know if this person is something special, worthwhile. I feel nothing. Nothing. Ambivalent. Eh.

Also, something occurred in which we finally acknowledged our ages. He is in fact 25 and he knows very well that I am 28. 3 years, not a big deal, but this affirmation led to a conversation in which he said that before now he was just floating through life without a clear direction. Then he asked me...

Does 30 scare you?

Yes, because I'm almost 30 and still have not had a serious relationship.

I didn't tell him that. But it was clear that we're in different stages in our lives and I don't want to watch someone go through their 20s. I'm almost done with this stupid transitional decade. I want out of my 20s so bad. It's painful watching my brother go through his quarter-life crisis.

UGH.

But back to the real crisis at hand. You should know by the third date, right? I just don't feel any spark. Any deeper connection. And it doesn't help that Irishman isn't making any moves on me at all. (He's a gentleman remember?). If he made a move I think I would know for sure. As it stands I just feel this awkwardness that I don't know what his expectations are.

So, I guess that means he wants me to decide. Why do I always have to decide for him?

Okay Dating LA - why do you keep accepting dates with him? Can't think of a good reason no to. Boredom. Something to do.

I'm an awful person.

...I want to have sex.

Last night I dreamt I was hanging out with FWC in his apartment. I don't know why, but I'm there and I guess we're friends again in my dream. Anyway, he starts to make a move on me and things get hot and heavy. Soon we're naked and about to have sex, however FWC can't get it in (at least he got it up). He's just poking me and missing the entry and finally gives up saying, "If I don't get it after a couple tries then it's time to give up." I'm not devastated, but not really interested in hanging out anymore, so I pack up and leave.

I did notice that my subconscious gave FWC a small penis and he wasn't circumsized.

I've left FWC's building and I see a man in front of me. I recognize the guy right away. It's DK. When I see a friend unexpectedly and they don't see me, my habit is to tackle them. That's what I did in this dream - I ran up behind DK and tackled him. That's when I notice that he's with a girl (not very pretty at all). DK seems pleased to see me, doesn't introduce me to the girl and all three of us go to a picnic table (magically appears) to catch up.

As DK and I are talking I see out of the corner of my eye the girl try to take DK's hand. He brushes her hand off and then persuades her to go home without him, so he can keep talking to me. When she's gone DK is basically all over me. It feels very familiar. He explains that the girl is just a roommate and he moved in to save some money. There's talk about how much he missed me blah blah blah.

We end up back at my apartment and have sex...successfully.

And that's that. I haven't had sex since October. I'm still keeping with my resolution of less empty sex and more meaningful sex.

Carrie Underwood and Chace Crawford broke up via text message. What do you think: Would you ever break-up with someone by sending a text or email?