No Results
I give up, I tell you. I. GIve. Up.
This whole dating thing has left me more cynical about relationships. It's like I've been on a diet for a year and have not seen any results.
Where are my dating results?
I just keep adding to my numbers of not-quite-right men and being rejected by the one(s) I do like. It's just not going to happen for me. I have to embrace this and be okay with this. I'm just not meant to be in a relationship.
I am destined to be on my own.
And I have to take responsibility for this. I want a relationship, however I don't want it enough to just settle (down) for anything. Otherwise, I'd probably be with the Irishman now or even FWC. If only I could just set my standards lower. Just compromise my gut feeling, my instinct, my "no" alarm and take anyone that came my. Then, only then, will I be in a relationship.
But since I can't shut out instincts, since I have to feel those butterflies in my stomach, I think I will always be single. It seems impossible, right now, that I will ever meet a guy that will make me float on air.
Comments
I need those damn butterflies.
We all do.
Maybe we should start a club. I have pretty much given up on women myself at this point. Though...to be fair I realise it's my own fault. I only really like the broken ones. That says a lot about me really. Not sure how to fix that really. Been doing it for two years solidly now and it has improved but not changed radically. So that's at least half the problem. the other half is finding a girl that I really find attractive and intelligent enough (I'm a picky bastard) that isn't clinically fucked up beyond repair on some level!
It should be a free club I think.
And I'm sorry for my excessive use of expletives, but god DAMN it. I'm a cute, single girl. Why am I finding the crazies and the emotionally unavailable manwhores are the only people who will fucking take me out??? Is it this city? I think it's this city. I think it's the city of crazies and men who don't want girlfriends. FUCKERS.
Do we all think it's "this city"? Because I'm starting to think that if I moved somewhere else it would be the same. It's almost like, I have to learn to be completely independent, and then maybe I'll meet someone, but maybe not.
I totally understand about the damn butterflies. I could probably be with some nice, generally attractive guy, if I didn't need that chemistry.
I can make it alone (repeat)
matty
I made my peace with being single long ago. Though still harbor fantasies of finding true love again... cause I don't want to miss it if the opportunity arises. I'm at a point of: "I don't expect it, I'll be okay if I don't get it - but I still want it and and open to the possibilities."
The book was written by Dennis Prager and its called, "Happiness is a Serious Problem." Many of its precepts I had put into practice over a decade earlier but it affirmed what I understood to matter. I recommend it to my entire family and friends circles. I think it will improve our society if we can gain an understanding of lasting joy and how to attain it.