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I'm with you. Seriously...I gave up finding "love" last weekend. It's not gonna happen for me. And I'm not gonna settle either. I need that spark. That chemistry.

I need those damn butterflies.
I totally feel you on this. I hate hearing "When you stop looking, love finds you" because when I really don't give a damn and not make an effort I still have nothing!

We all do.

Maybe we should start a club. I have pretty much given up on women myself at this point. Though...to be fair I realise it's my own fault. I only really like the broken ones. That says a lot about me really. Not sure how to fix that really. Been doing it for two years solidly now and it has improved but not changed radically. So that's at least half the problem. the other half is finding a girl that I really find attractive and intelligent enough (I'm a picky bastard) that isn't clinically fucked up beyond repair on some level!

It should be a free club I think.

I'm sorry, I can't help but laugh because I scream that to myself every single fucking day. I GIVE UP!!! FUCK YOU mankind.

And I'm sorry for my excessive use of expletives, but god DAMN it. I'm a cute, single girl. Why am I finding the crazies and the emotionally unavailable manwhores are the only people who will fucking take me out??? Is it this city? I think it's this city. I think it's the city of crazies and men who don't want girlfriends. FUCKERS.
I have been "not looking" for the majority of my life w/o results. And trying didn't yield results. I'm just not meant to be in a relationship.

Do we all think it's "this city"? Because I'm starting to think that if I moved somewhere else it would be the same. It's almost like, I have to learn to be completely independent, and then maybe I'll meet someone, but maybe not.

I totally understand about the damn butterflies. I could probably be with some nice, generally attractive guy, if I didn't need that chemistry.

I can make it alone (repeat)

matty

I know this feeling well. To this day, my most significant (aka: satisfying) relationship was with a gay man. All the happiness, just none of the sex. But I was happy, so that was not only okay - but kinda refreshing (I made a lot of bad choices when it came to sex).

I made my peace with being single long ago. Though still harbor fantasies of finding true love again... cause I don't want to miss it if the opportunity arises. I'm at a point of: "I don't expect it, I'll be okay if I don't get it - but I still want it and and open to the possibilities."
If you start a club, count me in. Matty's right. I'm in Chicago, and it's the same! I spent most of the 90's "not looking" (and I didn't find anything), and now that I'm trying, it really isn't happening either.
Can I suggest a book to everyone? I'm really content where I am. I know, I know, why did I post a profile on a dating site if I'm content and satisfied where I am? Truly, I did it because I am still holding onto a fantasy of finding the 'one.' But I don't walk around asking why I can't get a date. I can get a date, but I don't like the game, the constant criticism both ways. So, I have committed my life to a cause and enjoy what I have.

The book was written by Dennis Prager and its called, "Happiness is a Serious Problem." Many of its precepts I had put into practice over a decade earlier but it affirmed what I understood to matter. I recommend it to my entire family and friends circles. I think it will improve our society if we can gain an understanding of lasting joy and how to attain it.

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