Dating LA

Lying Old Man Gets Younger

nobody@vox.com(Dating LA) — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 11:11:30 -0700

The lying old man is back. And this time he's 32!

They get younger everyday.

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Remember

nobody@vox.com(Dating LA) — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 10:08:18 -0700

Everytime I start comparing myself to another woman and bringing myself down, I think

Yeah, but can she pole dance?

Everytime I start imagining DK being with some super sexy hot woman who is not me, I think

Yeah, but can she pole dance?

Pole dancing makes me stronger.

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Date J070608 - Lying Old Man

nobody@vox.com(Dating LA) — Sun, 08 Jun 2008 22:44:34 -0700

Strictly platonic ads on Craigslist are a bunch of bunk. It's never strictly platonic. So, after a week of being in the dating dumps, I went on a date of sorts with J070608, a guy I found in the strictly platonic section of CL. It was a pleasant date. Again, no sparks. But then he said something...strange.

I'm not 35; I'm 37.

He lied about his age. He did this because when he posts his real age he tends to meet people that don't fit his lifestyle. Sooner or later we all lie about our ages, but this is strictly platonic here. I have friends in their 40s; who the fuck cares?

Still, I was not amused.

It maybe be two years, but 37 is not 35. 37 is closer to 40 and, in my opinion, a man who is almost 40, never been married...that means eternal bachelor.

This guy wants to be single.

I also did the math in my head. He'll be turning 38 this year. This guy is 10 years older than me. That's a generation gap and I'm just not up for dealing with it.

But, as I said, it's strictly platonic.

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I Quit

nobody@vox.com(Dating LA) — Fri, 30 May 2008 14:32:49 -0700

It's that time again. Time to concentrate on me and not on them (men/boys).

But when is it ever not about me?

I took my profile down on all my online dating sites. I'm not in the mood to search. I'm not in the mood to be searched. I just don't have it in me right now.

Im-a-quitter

I let a bit of my psycho girl out and drove by DK's work place (he works like 5 miles from where I work). I haven't done a drive-by stalking in a year. I don't know what took over me, but I was just raging. I'm not sure what a drive-by would have accomplished other than waste gas. I just took off at lunch, raced around the Venice Beach area with my windows down and this song from Madonna's new album on repeat.

11 Devil Wouldn't Recognize You

Madonna

I'm going to do an S Factor routine to this song.

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MRS College Dropout

nobody@vox.com(Dating LA) — Wed, 28 May 2008 11:33:08 -0700

I'm going to let you in on a secret.

I didn't graduate from college.

It wasn't until recently, after receiving an invitation to my 5th year college reunion, after reflecting on all my girlfriends from those times, that I realized - I didn't get my MRS degree. I used to hear stories about girls going off to college with the intention of getting their MRS. That was in the 50s (have you seen the movie Mona Lisa's Smile?). But since the whole feminist movement happened, I thought that degree was no longer sought.

I was wrong...

...because practically every one of my college girlfriends, except one or two, got married right after graduation. I didn't keep in touch with any of these girls. I didn't belong to their flock of couples, as they made me so painfully aware. I was the quintessential "single girlfriend". How could I possibly understand the happiness and joy of being in a couple?

I'm single.

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Date K220508 - The Thing is...

nobody@vox.com(Dating LA) — Thu, 22 May 2008 22:28:06 -0700

I hate chatting online. I hate chatting online as a means of "getting to know you". I grew out of chatting with strange boys and falling in love with them once I graduated from high school.

The thing about chatting online is there's too much of your own projected fantasies and expectations built up in the conversation. And when you do finally meet each other, you've pretty much set yourself up for disappointment because what guy can live up to the guy you imagined in your mind.

No one.

So, by rule I try to meet the guys in person as soon as possible. That's why I was already irritated by date K220508 because he wanted to chat with me and there was no sign that he was going to ask me out. I finally had to tell him that I usually don't chat with guys for extended periods of time (we've been chatting on and off, more off, for about 3 weeks). I prefer to meet them ASAP for the reasons above.

But it was already too late because he was growing attached to me online. Dude, I'm at work, so I can't sit there and respond to each of your IMs right away. I have shit to do. He started looking up things for us to do together. And then there was this.

*hugs

He would type that to me. Hugs. Gag! I don't know you and you don't know me and you're cyber hugging me.

As I learned more about him through our phone conversation, I knew we were incompatible. I was bored. I was annoyed. I had enough.

But I still wanted my free dinner.

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It's Not Just Me. It's You, Too.

nobody@vox.com(Dating LA) — Sat, 17 May 2008 20:12:37 -0700

I just got off the phone with a potential date. I don't think I want him to be a potential date anymore.

I've acknowledged that I have trouble settling, but what would I be settling for? This new guy I just talked to is the exact age as me, and yet we're in such different places he can't relate to my life and I can't relate to his. I'm not even 30 and am in a middle management position, have my own place, well cultured, and educated. I don't relate to a guy who still lives with his parents (by choice), still in school yet has no career direction and just wants to talk about food and cars. That sounds like a deal breaker to me.

All I want is to be able to talk to a guy and it won't be a chore.

Sadly, the only guy in recent times that I felt I had a connection with was DK. I guess this is why I hold onto him in my mind and heart so much.

Why is it so difficult? It seems like everyone else can just fall into a relationship. Is there really no guy out there for me?

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You're Fired

nobody@vox.com(Dating LA) — Tue, 13 May 2008 10:34:31 -0700

FWC was fired from work yesterday.

He wasn't very good at his job. Actually, he was horrible at it and he's not a diplomatic people person, a skill that his position required. So, when I heard that he had majorly fucked up last week and was asked not to come into work on Friday, I knew this was inevitable.

It was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back.

I do feel a little bad for him. No one deserves to be out of work in this economy. He didn't have many friends because of his off-putting personality. I was his only friend and since he lost me, well, it seemed like he didn't want to stick around here anyway.

This concludes the story of FWC. He's really out of my life completely and now I just feel free to be and do whatever and whomever I want.

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Date C100508 - Looking for the One

nobody@vox.com(Dating LA) — Sat, 10 May 2008 23:34:46 -0700

So it was with my recent cynical dating/relationship attitude that I went on another Crazy Blind Date tonight. I had forgotten that I signed up for one and I didn't want to cancel it. I think those CBD people keep a running score of how many times you cancel (twice for me) and then set you up with not so great guys as punishment.

That's not to say my date tonight was bad. He was just fine. We talked about geeky stuff, stuff that on first meeting me you would probably never realize I was into.

Yes, I'm a fan of Batman, okay?

But my cynicism underlined our playful conversation. My date said he respected honesty, so I asked him.

Do guys believe in The One? Or do they approach marriage as just another milestone to accomplish at a certain age and whoever's around will be that One?

His response:

Sure, we believe in The One. I definitely wouldn't settle. I don't think settling is a matter of the guy. I think it's an individual preference.

I guess there are some good guys left.

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A Case for Settling

nobody@vox.com(Dating LA) — Thu, 08 May 2008 16:06:38 -0700

I have to retrain myself to settle. This lady will help me.

Marry Him!

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200803...

About six months after my son was born, he and I were sitting on a blanket at the park with a close friend and her daughter. It was a sunny summer weekend, and other parents and their kids picnicked nearby—mothers munching berries and lounging on the grass, fathers tossing balls with their giddy toddlers. My friend and I, who, in fits of self-empowerment, had conceived our babies with donor sperm because we hadn’t met Mr. Right yet, surveyed the idyllic scene.

The Case for Mr. Not-Quite-Right

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200802...

Single thirtysomethings may talk about settling down, but rarely will they admit they’re settling. Nonetheless, many are, says Lori Gottlieb—and those who aren’t, she advises, should.

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