12 posts tagged “los angeles”
I'll admit it. I need help in the bedroom. Oh, the guys I've been with say I'm just fine at sex, but I want to be sensational.
And a girl can always learn a few new tricks.
I read this post on LAist about sex classes at the adult store Babeland. Sadly, I missed this week's class about fellatio. I could use a few pointers in that area.
But I give a great hand job - thanks to HBO's Real Sex documentary series.
The hardest part about being single? Not having someone in my life who is required to hang out with me. There's a play I want to go to, but I won't go because I have no one to go with. I do practically everything by myself - go to galleries, to the movies, to the spa, to the gym, shopping, check out a new bar or restaurant. I have friends, yes. And those friends also have boyfriends or husbands. They don't want to hang out with me every weekend.
How did this city become so lonely all of a sudden?
I think it's the heat from summer that's forcing all the asshole men out of hiding. I saw this on CL just now and had to repost it here.
Don't ask me why I'm on CL...and looking at the personals. Okay, I'm seeing if DK posted another ad.
Anyway, read this (CL removed the post) and try to tell me that this guy isn't an asshole.
My Dating Experiences Here In LA - 34
Since moving to LA some 3 years ago, I've been playing the dating game out here. After dating numerous girls, I've pretty much come to the conclusion that I am totally wasting my time here.
My requirements seem to be very simple. Professional woman, single, no kids, never been married, non smoker, non druggie, slim, leads an active lifestyle, educated to at least degree level, no older than me, lives on her own and is financially stable.
You'd think I was looking for the universe.
Here is my experiences of dating the girls out here, I have broken them down by ethnicities:
White chicks these I would define as the leaches of the species. Hold tight to your wallet when you date these. They will suck every dollar out of your wallet. They tend to turn up to dates with their chest hanging out, as they desperately need some kind of attention. They also have a kid lurking in the background, with whom they have no contact with the father. This is usually due to meeting him at some random bar and having a one nighter in the back of his truck. This is also one species that is very quick to label other ethnicities. Yet they themselves are the ones who have the issues.
Black chicks these I would define as the angry of the species. This species seems to be angry with the world. Instead of moving forward, they seem to be moving backwards. Instead of going on about the past and thinking more of the future, they might actually get someone in life.
East Indian chicks these I would define as the liars of the species. This species is very closely related to the Armenian species. Still live with their parents to a ripe old age, sleep around with white/black guys, but secrelty looking for their East Indian prince. Make sure you get a STD test with these ones.
Armenian chicks these I would define as the racists of the species. No one is born racist, but they are made racist. This is one insecure species that is terrifed of dying out. So they hold onto their backwards culture for dear life. Don't even think about talking to this species, unless you are parting with your cash. Very corrupt species. BROW DOWN!!
Asian chicks these I would define as the children of the species. Don't get me wrong, this species is very highly educated, hold good jobs and are financially secure. But take them out of an academic environment and they fall a part. They act like sub-serviant little girls, dress like hoochies and get drunk on half a glass of wine. Dating this species is more like baby sitting a 3 year old. Plus it's very easy to confuse this species with the male species.
Mexican chicks these I would define as the scavengers of the species. Usually had had 4 kids by the age of 13. If you can find one that is legally in the US, you will find her building a career as a cashier in Costco. Once again, she will be looking for a daddy for her kids, whilst she can go clubbing with your money, so she can reproduce once again with someone else. They also like to make best friends with the social security office personnel, as they spend a lot of time there.
Fat chicks these I would define as the delusional of the species. for some weird reason, this species has it in their heads that thins girls are insecure and they are not. I mean who on earth would want to hang out with a walking water bed? The mere thought of entering a gym is enough to give them a heart attack. Make sure you keep a tight lock on your fridge door if you date one of these.
These are the only ethnicities that I have met so far. I'm sure this will increase, as I meet more and more girls out here.
I seem to meet a lot of girls out here who are extremely angry with the world. I can only put it down to this. They come to LA to become an actress. They need the attention, because the are extremely insecure. When they fail, they go to plan B and try to find a sugar daddy to support them. Of course they also get used by the guys and end up having to work as waitresses to make ends meet. no wonder they are so bitter out here!!
You think he'll get any positive responses with this? And he wonders why we're angry in LA? Because of shits like you!
Photographic proof.
I had a date planned today, but he cancelled/flaked on me.
sorry, i can't make it.
I responded by deleting his email and removing his name from my IM list. There are more dates to be had in LA. So, I guess I'll be having two weeks off from my marathon dating. I hope I don't date-atrophy.
I don't know what possessed me to contact N310307 after an annoying chat with him. He impressed me as sarcastic and needy. Fine in short bursts, but not in a relationship, let alone on a date.
Speaking of short, this guy is. He picked me up at 12:30 AM (who sets up a date this late) for drinks, so I couldn't gage his height in the car. All I saw were these massive bodybuilder arms with veins popping out. When we stepped out of the car I completely towered over him. I'm not tall (5'2") but with my 5 inch platforms on I was at least 5'7". I felt like Katie Holmes with Tom Cruise, and as the date progressed I realized I was with Tom Cruise. Or an incredible facsimile of him. His attitude was overbearing and sarcastic; just too much on a first meeting. I'm trying to get to know this guy. He was making fun of me, so he could have a laugh.
Even his facial features were like Tom, but with his overly muscular build, he just looked ridiculous. I think he's trying to overcompensate for his height, or insecurities, or whatever. We didn't get that far to breaking him down; he was too busy breaking me down in order to make a joke.
I know one thing. You're not getting a second date out of me.
Too mean? Yeah. I was done and when I'm done I really don't care if I hurt some-guy-who-I-never-want-to-see-again's feelings.
Do you want to have coffee sometime?
The safest way to ask a lady out is to ask her out for coffee. It's only a $3-4 commitment, so if you don't hit it off you haven't spent $50 on dinner and drinks. Come on, fellas. Think harder and you can find some free activities to take your dates out on.
Another Lavalife find, A270307 and I decided to meet at a popular outdoor shopping center for "coffee." As I was waiting for him to show up I spotted a real hottie all by himself. I smiled at him a couple times.
I hope that's him.
It wasn't. Our "coffee" date turned into an undate; he didn't pay for my salad, but then again he wasn't eating. So, maybe it was a date? I had a nice time listening to him talk about basketball (he plays a few games a week), and his penchant for Thai massage. I told him how great yoga is and my obsession with spa facials and hot stone massages.
There was one thing I just couldn't shake. A270307 reminded me of my ex, CG. Maybe it was because we were hanging out at one of our old stomping grounds. But it was more than that. His hair, his facial structure, his gestures - it was all CG. I was having a mini anxiety attack...on the inside. The only thing that could have made the moment worse was if CG appeared with a hot, young thang on his arm to see me with his clone.
I met J240307 through Lavalife. We decided to meet up and visit some art galleries together. The conversation flowed easily. We giggled at the ridiculous stuff, and gawked at the bizarre ones. We parted ways on a vague promise to get together for drinks later in the week.
I'll email you, he said.
It was a good date, but somehow I can't see myself with him. Yes, J240307 was good looking, well-traveled, smart, a real catch. There were no sparks and he probably knew it, too. We'd make good friends if we worked in the same office and got together to laugh at the latest escapades of Britney Spears. However, we don't and perhaps the investment in making a new friend is not enough to set up another time to "hang out".
That thought makes me a little sad.
I met B220307 through Craigslist. First sign of compatibility (or not) - he described himself as quirky. Quirky can mean a lot of things. When I asked him to explain he said I'd find out. Okay.
First deal breaker red flag - he left his job to follow his dream of being a movie producer/screenwriter. And with no real industry experience, I wasn't sure I wanted to hang around and watch someone hit wall after wall after wall. More power to B220307 for following his dreams.
Saving grace - B220307 knows how to make balloon animals. Besides creepy clowns, who learns how to make balloon animals on his own?
We chatted a couple times online, always missing each other for a meet up. One day he IMs
Can I persuade you to come to lunch?
Yes, I can skip the gym today for an impromptu lunch date. We met at a cafeteria style eatery and discussed his aversion to olives in the lunch line. When we got to the cash register I paused for a second. Is he going to offer to cover for me? One, two, three...ok, I guess not.
It is my belief that if the guy doesn't cover all expenses it's not a date. It's a date if he pays. It would have been a date if I had paid for him. But this wasn't a date. It was an undate. Lunch went smoothly in spite of this hiccup, and we parted on a mutual gesture to "do this again".
To be continued.
My first date from Lavalife was P190307. We chatted briefly and, after declaring that I was hot, he asked me out for drinks. Great. Fantastic. 20 minutes after logging in and I already had a date. We decided to meet in Manhattan Beach, a location we both knew and something we could bond over (I got wasted here. Have you?) But that weekend he was going out of town. He'd call me on his way back Sunday afternoon. Cool. Sunday rolls around and my phone rings. It's him. I answer, then I hear a click.
Hello. Hello?
Did he just hang up on me? OMG, he heard my voice and decided, "No go," and hung up. I knew it was him calling, so no fair chickening out; I decided to text him.
Did you just call me?
No response. He's ignoring me. He did hang up on me. I went into work Monday morning feeling rejected. I told my friends what happened hoping for some sympathy. Later that day I received a text.
Wanna go out for a drink?
I showed up at Hennessey's in Manhattan Beach and recognized P190307 at the bar. He was finishing a Guinness and from his sluggish manner I could tell it wasn't his first pint. On top of that P190307 lost his voice over the St. Patrick's day weekend, but I did my best to make conversation with his slurred, cracking voice. Not a good way to make a first impression. Losing your voice - excusable. Being drunk by the time I arrive - no go. Oh well, at least I got a couple drinks out of him.
