13 posts tagged “relationships”
MEN-SI-VER-SA-RY (m n se-v r se-r ) noun
1. The monthly recurring date of a past event, especially one of
historical, national, or personal importance: a first date
mensiversary; the mensiversary of the founding of Nerstone Pictures.
2. A celebration commemorating such a date.
from Latin: mensis, month + versus, past participle of vertere, to turn.
Well, it's been one month official. I wouldn't normally celebrate something so soon. Talk to me on month 4 and I'll let you know if we're getting somewhere. It seems important to Him though and we're going out for a secret dinner tonight.
He's also making me fat, we're going out to eat so much.
He's still crazy about me and I adore being with Him as much as I can. Who knew this could be possible?
Tonight was the third date and the results? Well, I'd say He (I still don't have a nickname for Him) and I are unofficially official.
We went out to dinner. I took Him to this hole in the wall place close to His apartment, but I knew it would be right up His alley since He's a foodie. Afterwards, it was back to His place; I swore to myself that if He didn't make a grand move I was gonna dump His ass. We just talked in His hallway forever until, finally...
He kissed me.
And then from there...we just made out a lot and giggled like we were high school sweethearts. No sex. It's that time for me. Thank goodness for that because it was getting hot and heavy. I'm pretty sure I'd still be at His place right now and naked, instead of at my place getting ready for bed and work in the morning, if it wasn't for my period.
So, that's that. It happened suddenly, but feels very organic. I feel good about this.
I say, "we were never friends." Once we're over all obligations are done.
What I mean by "we were never friends" is that there's a clear distinction between why you end up friends with someone and why you date someone. There's a level of possession, need, desire with the one you date. You don't feel any pressure of hurting feelings if you tell a friend you went out on a hot date. There's no pressure because there's less emotions invested. While you can care and love your friends, the level of intimacy is less intense than with someone you date.
I used to feel so guilty for not being able to be friends with an ex. I felt like I was just a bitch and couldn't get over that person. The truth is I never really get over any of my boyfriends. Or maybe I just don't want that reminder of failure in my face. I don't want that person around and watch them move on while I wonder "what happened to us? Why didn't he want me?"
I don't want to think about all the things that never were. - Britney Spears, Out From Under
The way I see it now is if someone thinks or has the audacity to want to be my friend after a relationship, I probably didn't mean that much in the first place. Wouldn't he be hurt that our relationship ended too? If he really wanted me and just me, wouldn't he want all of me to the very limit and wouldn't settle for less, especially since he has all of me right there and now? Anyone who can make the transition from lover to friend, in my eyes, probably didn't invest as much emotionally to begin with. The loss wasn't that great and, therefore, the shift in relationship status isn't that big a change.
He always thought of me as a friend. A friend he could fuck. A fucking friend does not a girlfriend make.
Today was a good day. I went to a bbq and met new boys even though none were available or had interest in me. Then in the evening I had an impromptu "Lonely Ladies" (aka LoLa) night with a friend and the Sex And The City Movie.
Do you know any other way to celebrate independence?
I've been a bit blue this week. This was supposed to be the week the Canadian was going to visit me. I've been doing well so far. I had a long stretch of time where I didn't think about him at all. It's just this week that I'm remembering. And I admit that I miss him, but I'm not sure what I miss - him, the company, or the idea that someone out there adored me.
Will I ever find another guy whose eyes light up when I enter the room?
I suppose these thoughts come to mind as I see my friends struggle in their relationships. I just hope their struggle toward a common goal - a successful relationship. Sometimes I want to ask them "what does this successful relationship look like?" because everyone seems to want that so much. For my friend it would mean marriage and children. For the Canadian, for whom my question originated, I think he'd say one that would last forever, especially after his two marriages ended.
It just dawned on me that as we get older and recover from the relationship war wounds, we either take bigger risks or become afraid. Risk-taker because you've lived through it all and now you can survive any ordeal. Or afraid because you just don't want to make another mistake and end up hurt.
I'm going to be a risk-taker.
Relationships. I'm not in one, but most of the people around me are and I noticed a pattern in most of the couplings
One person is always the one compromising to the other's will.
Like my friend G, who is always the compromising one in relationships. She's strong-willed, outspoken, a fighter, and yet when it comes to things like "do we do what he wants to do or what I want to do" it always ends up "what he wants to do". She frowns, pouts, gets disappointed, but "he really wants to do this, so I'm going along with it." Even the relationship itself is a compromise in his favor. She's hearing her biological clock and, brave as it was for her to date a younger man, because he is younger means that he still doesn't know what he wants, who he is, where he's going. She wants things to keep rolling, and while he's having trouble even introducing her to his friends.
If her time is really that much of a priority, why waste it on a guy who can't give you what you want?
Another friend's budding relationship is struggling because neither wants to compromise or even understand the other.
I suppose if everyone in the world honored themselves, put themselves first even and, dare I say, was selfish no relationship would succeed. I don't even think relationships can even start without someone giving in to the other, the alpha in the pairing. I mean, some of you kind readers recommended I not call a guy because "my time is more important". I get that, but could I also be throwing away an opportunity just because I'm stubborn and refuse to bend a little?
Just so you know, I haven't called the guy because I really don't have time or the inclination.
I'm just wondering if an equal partnership is really achievable. Perhaps I'm just cynical right now, but I'm interested in reading what everyone else thinks.
I'm horrible in relationships. Even if it's an imaginary one - I'm horrible in relationships.
After doing this blog for 2 years (I forgot my 2nd Dating LA anniversary) I've come to realize that I'm more confident and hopeful about relationships when I'm not in one. It's because when I don't have anyone, then there's nothing to lose and everything to gain.
But when I'm in a relationship, when I'm interested in a guy I become completely unglued. Sometimes that can be good and fun, but other times it just means that I'm doubtful of the guy's affections, insecure about my attractiveness (not just talking about looks), and pessimistic about the outcome.
Hence, I end up single again. Even though in my heart I'm willing, ready to take any risk for the right relationship to blossom (i.e. The Canadian), but there's always something isn't there, that makes it feel impossible - even if those barriers really don't exist.
Why is everyone such a fucking coward, idealist?
[Dating LA] completed the quiz "Are you destined to be married for life or single for life?" with the result There's hope for you, but not yet.
Emotionally, you're still too selfish but you have hope. You're able to be honest and respectful and you might be able to work at it if the right person came along. Just give it time and don't rush things...
Maybe the odds really are against us. Very few people (except for you BFF) thinks it'll work out. Hell, I'm not even sure he thinks or wants it to work out.
So, what are we doing then?
I started to read a book G recommended to me, Transurfing Reality. I think I understand what it's saying, but if I'm sending out good vibes for something, but everyone else isn't then does that mean I'm at a loss?
Maybe I should finish the book before I try to figure it all out.
Maybe...Maybe not everyone was meant to be in a relationship. And maybe that person is me. It's like society's weird way of acting out natural selection. Animals pick out mates based on some kind of instinct that the other has traits that will benefit the future offspring. But we humans have feelings, emotions, (ir)rational hearts and minds.
Relationships are completely irrational!
We don't mate out of practicality (well, some of us don't). I mean, if we were to pair off based on practicality why did (most) societies fight against arranged marriages? And with the advances in science wouldn't the next step in dating be to date someone who is your genetic compliment, meaning that person has the genes that will fix your genes and vice versa?!
Anyway, I'm just rambling. I'm really stressed out at work. I'm doubtful of everything. The Canadian went condo hunting today. I might be up for a promotion at work that I don't even know if I want. Of course I want to succeed, but I don't even think I want to stay in this career.
I want...I want a new life.
