14 posts tagged “single”
I wish I had an update for you all. I really wish I did. I'm in a rut. I seem to be having a delayed dumped-again reaction to The Canadian. Maybe I pushed myself too hard to "get over it" and when I thought I was over it little things come around to remind me that I'm on my own once again.
Thanks a lot Universe.
I also attribute the funk to things out of my control. My single partner-in-crime lost her job, so partying isn't as easy or frequent as it used to be. I got a promotion, which is cause for celebration, but that means no more fooling around at work. I actually work at work now. And that means stress and bringing my work home with me sometimes. And, just when I thought I'd have another single buddy to play with, she decides to give her relationship another shot.
Must be nice to date someone who lives in the same city as you.
I tried to figure out what I've been doing "wrong", but honestly I'm tired of trying to figure it out. Maybe it's everything under the sky. I pick the wrong guys; I'm too picky with guys in general; I'm too selfish; I don't want to give up my individuality; I'm not making myself available.
Maybe it's just not meant to be.
Perhaps it is too much to ask for things to just happen. For a relationship to just develop out of the blue and organically. That's the only way that feels natural to me. Some people just seem to be able to get into some dating program, meet someone great and go on their merry way. I don't know. I just feel really discouraged right now.
I'm gonna blame it on the impending solar eclipse.
This Friday I'm going out with some single ladies and we're taking the "buy us a drink" challenge. We'll go to a bar with minimal money and get guys to buy us drinks.
I read this post on ...Says the Single Girl and wanted to repost. I read the blogger's (a guy) reasons for why good women couldn't find good men.
I know I've been silent lately, but I hope I'm not turning bitter and jaded. In LA it's easy to become that way, then turn inward and just be selfish. I've stopped chasing the "wrong guy" I think. Based on the men I have been attracted to recently, I've learned to drop my "list" of deal breakers because it really doesn't matter in the end.
I think the tough part of this guy's list of "what [we're] doing wrong" is stop looking. I haven't been actively seeking, but I haven't been very available either. I do go out, but where am I going? Gay bars. Goth clubs. These places are fun. I can really let loose at gay bars, but none of the guys are available. Goth clubs are interesting, but it's not really me.
Sometimes I only feel like myself when I'm pole dancing or singing. Will I meet my next boyfriend pole dancing?
I don't know, neighborhood. It seems like every time a relationship ends it takes me forever to build myself back up. To feel happy with myself no matter what the situation. What is it going to take for me to be myself and just enjoy my life no matter where it leads?
Happiness is a choice. Maybe I'm just not choosing to be happy right now.
All my friends are in relationships. Even my little brother is in a relationship. My friend G's bf said the "L" word over the weekend.
I'm happy for all these people. I'm unhappy with myself. I don't want to hang out with these people anymore. They're moving on and joining this exclusive club of couples only. In this world your happiness is born from the fact that you have someone.
I don't have anyone.
Being single is hard when everyone around you seems to keep rubbing in your face that you're the single "it" girl. I'm grateful that they invite me to join them at dinners, movies, other activities, but in another way I've never felt so alone and isolated.
I don't want to hang around these people anymore.
I'm horrible in relationships. Even if it's an imaginary one - I'm horrible in relationships.
After doing this blog for 2 years (I forgot my 2nd Dating LA anniversary) I've come to realize that I'm more confident and hopeful about relationships when I'm not in one. It's because when I don't have anyone, then there's nothing to lose and everything to gain.
But when I'm in a relationship, when I'm interested in a guy I become completely unglued. Sometimes that can be good and fun, but other times it just means that I'm doubtful of the guy's affections, insecure about my attractiveness (not just talking about looks), and pessimistic about the outcome.
Hence, I end up single again. Even though in my heart I'm willing, ready to take any risk for the right relationship to blossom (i.e. The Canadian), but there's always something isn't there, that makes it feel impossible - even if those barriers really don't exist.
Why is everyone such a fucking coward, idealist?
I just realized that on both my singles cruises I ended up sleeping with a Canadian. Twice is just a coincidence, but if I go on a third cruise and it happens again? That means it's a pattern.
Thanks for reading...
I am the token single girl.
And I'm tired of it.
When I talk to my girlfriends about how I would be willing to move to be with a guy they ask me why I would do that. They list out all the reasons why it's not a good idea.
I want to move onto the next phase of my life. I can't do that here in LA. LA - great place to be single; horrible place if you want to have or get into a relationship.
The way I see it at my age (28 going on 29), you either end up on the road to relationshipdom/marriage or you're the token single girl. The one amongst the group of girlfriends who is always single, constantly dating, forever heartbroken, and never quite finding that one.
I'm her.
And in a very sick way, I think my girlfriends are invested in keeping me this way. Of course, they want me to be happy, but they also encourage me to stay single. Why? Because they can live vicariously through me, I suppose. I just remember that episode of Sex and the City were Carrie is explaining to Miranda why she's moving to Paris. Everyone else moved on, even Samantha. So, why couldn't Carrie take the same risk on a relationship?
According to the map on this site there are 89,459 more single men than women in the LA-Long Beach-Santa Ana area.
And yet, I'm still single.
I'm exhausted just thinking about dating all these guys. And grossed out. I have a lunch date today.
...means impulse purchase.
I just booked a cruise out of Miami. It's another singles cruise. Of course, I'm not going unchaperoned. My friends S and P will be with me. This time I don't depart under the delirium of a breakup (DK and I were never together); this time I go because I want to get the fuck out of this selfish, shallow, vain, stupid city that I've chosen to live and date in.
Sick of LA. Just sick of it.
